I don't Really KNOW~ITS ~ (Heart's Logic)~

I don't really know what IT Is... ITS not that I want, Well not really, As a Child yeap,
I wanted to Be Loved,
~Loved ~n~ Acceptance~ is what seemed to be NEEDED ~
IT was a NEED, A Need that became a WANT That was barely full~filled ~n~ Always came at a cost if it Happened~
So through ~out my Years , NEED Yelled at WANT, haunting WANT to remember the COSTS that happen, Desires would take a beat~seat ~n~Laugh at Passion~ WANT was always unsure, Passion Over~Seen Desire to make sure IT wasn't Selfish~n~ IT always Leads back To NEED~
If I NEED then ya think I Want, ..
I do~n~ I don't ....
I do if IT Nurtures My Heart Past any FEAR~n~Doubt,
I don't if IT comes from a selfish source or becomes selfish,
I don't seek IT out, or set IT up to happen,
I don't expect IT at ,
I do accept IT or will accept IT,
IT ...I don't know IT
I thought I knew IT when something was unfoldin... BUT that Unfoldin IT wasn't IT....
ALWAYS happens .... So I LAUGH AT IT For Haunting My Heart.....
I think IT is Laughin' at My Heart's Logic ~ well too bad IT.... My Heart's Logic has Become IT,
~n~ IT was LOVE Laughing at Desire,Passion,Want~n~Need......
IT became LOVE from MY Hearts Logic... IT became something that lacked in my Years, Somethin I never received without a Cost~
MY HEART's LOGIC IS IT~ N~ Waits no, Wants Not No More~ Just settles Need into a soothed State to Embrace what part of IT Needs to Embrace me....

ssssh~!

PSSST~ DON'T WAKE THE RESTIN' .... I used to feel guilty sleepin in or takin a nap, BUT Rest is Good For The Soul, My Mind can Travel in DreamLand, Where I can Compoze My Heart's Desire,.."PEACE, with a Sound~Trax", Surrounded by Light while I am cralwin outta my Dark Corner of My Unconscious Realm of Reality . Negative can't feed into my Conscious State No More~

~FREEDOM~FLIGHT~

Release yourself from the chains of the past,
Relieve yourself from the burdens of the present,
Spread your wings and fly towards the future,
Take control of you destiny,
Fate awaits you,
Let your soul awake,
Let your spirit guide you,
Open your mind,
Follow your heart,
Allow yourself to grow,
Don't let negative thoughts intrude on the positive ones,
Make peace with the darkness,
Learn what you can to advoid past mistakes,
Then move on,
Make a new start,
Stay in the light,
Prepare yourself,
Confidence the key,
Compassion, love and understanding...
Take them with you,
Stand firm on your values,
Be wise, and just, if you have to fight,
Don't fear your future,
Don't let them tread on you
Don't let them win,
Why let them win?
Why let them hold you back?
Why hold on to the them that cheat you out of you happiness?
Be yourself,
Love and protect yourself,
Search for what will full fill you,
Take what does,
Take your freedom flight.
copyright 2002

~UnDeR~oVeR~mOvIn' FoRwArD~ "Under~A~Flight~Path~Again~"

( I hope Karen Stever Don't Mind... It Just Touchs Me , Everything She shared about Her Dad~ N~ Everything ...THIS REMINDS Me of EVERYTHING as a Child I Wished to Feel~n~ was Left To Wonder~Everything From Freedom Flights That Should Have Remained , But IT Was Robbed From My Soul~n~ Everything I ALWAYS Felt~n~Feel, I Need To NOT Be Afraid... I Still Feel IT.... Months before a blog She Wrote I was Under The Path Of Flight By an Air~Plane....Even AFTER, hahahaha, IT STILL HAPPENS...I AM AWAKE To my Emotions of "FORWARD...FREEDOM AHEAD.... FLY" ~ THANK~YA KAREN,Karen's DAD~n~ The Air~Planes That have "Stalked" My "Under~Path"....

"Heed In The Moments of Warring, Is it Not What the Spirit Crys, Still In Each Moment , I Will Fly,
Within A Dream... It was Born Callin' Me, Callin Me Back Home,
Oh Heaven's Planted Seed, Angels Whisper For The Wind,
Guide My Urge To Flight,
Then Guide My Soul Again,
Should A Child Un~Winged Not Be Noticed,
Should I As A Child~Remain,
Paths To Be Flown, Wingless To Remain.
Oh Rebel Sky Provoke me, Gentle Breeze Begin,
The Freedom Walked Below, Is The Freedom
Flyin' STILL Above....Begin~"

'EYE'S BORN SHUT"~

‎"My Eye's Born Shut, I Can't See The Flow, Just FEEL The Flow,Grow With The Flow, Move In The Flow, Follow The Flow Direction~" Reachin' Out To Re~Feel The Flow~ Create , Breath, Live Without Dieing ,Pushin' Past Fear, The Only Weapon Is FORWARD Into the Unknown, Unseen , The Experiences Without Oppression, The Innocent Can Come Outta The Hidden. Nothing was Lost, Just The Trust, Reinsurance Regains The Rein...The Child Within Can Speak, Explore,Play, Come ALIVE in the Anewed Flow Without Question, Just Wonders ~n~ Curiosity , A Time to Seek....Its Always LOCKED Within, Never was Lost, Just Growin', Never was Seeing, Just Feeling the Flow, The Urge to Let Go,.
EYE"S Born Shut, That Wisdom Within Nature holds the Key, Speaks to Me, In Doubt I'll Close my Eyes. In Fear,I'll Still Grow, There's Freedom in The Flow..... EYE"S Born Shut, The Child's Soul can Voice, The Heart Will Heal, The Mind Awake.
EYE"S Born Shut, So That I Can Embrace The Flow, FEEL The Flow ,Hear The Sound~Trax of My Discontent~n~Grow~"

IF I AM........

If I am to lose my LIFE, At least I could say I remain TRUE to myself......
Even through my blood family was psychopathic ~n~ psychotic...No love there, no legacy ...Just my own... NO ABUSE will come from me.
I remain TRUE to other HUMANS, even though they lie, abandon,,abuse~n~ have raped EVERY part of me.... At least I had Love to Give,Loyalty, Acceptance, Tolerance, Some Forgiveness..
It was Good To Love, Even though it was a LIE~ At least I had moments where the world stopped spinnin'~n~ everything was ALIVE,ANEW, A Chance for Happyness.... At least I had those short moments, far in between the Uglyness~n~fighting off the Ugly Damage, at least I could see, ~n~ I felt what LOVE could be, sad thing that I craved some more after being robbed from it.... STRANGE, strange that the craving is there within me to give~n~ want it.....I don't know if I could openly receive it due to FEAR,Failure , ~n~just being Misunderstood...
I remain True to my OPEN~Mind, Giving everyone,everything a chance, taking the Time to Understand,Learn,Grow, Nurture ..
Even though I have been forced into Isolation,shut~out, beaten~down,pushed~away,mocked,judged,punished....
I remain True to my Heart~n~Soul Value,
Even though they stole from me, cheated me, cheated on me, seek to destroy me ... all outta hate~n~ nothin but~
I Never did those things, I did make mistakes when I was trying to survive, but NO HARM I placed anywhere to anyone.
NATURE EMBRACE ME, MUSE ME IN TO A SOUND~TRAX BEAT , SO THAT THE ANGELS SING~N~ NOT WEEP... I SURRENDER NOTHING, I SEEK NO ILL~WILL VENGEANCE, I ONLY CRAVED JUSTICE FOR THE WRONG DOINGS, .....ONLY GOD CAN FORGIVE THE PLACES ,PEOPLE,THINGS DONE,THAT I CAN'T
,....I SHOULDN'T FEEL LIKE I AM BEING PUNISHED FOR BEING ME,..... GENTLE IS MY HEART'S MOVEMENT, WHILE MY RESTLESS SOUL CRYS OUT FROM RAGE ..."PLEAZE SEND ME PEACE OF MIND,PEACE OF HEART, TO SOOTHE MY SOUL INTO A PEACEFUL STATE BEFORE I GO......

We All Start Off The Same...Innocent~n~ Conflicted...

We All Start Off The Same...Innocent~n~ Conflicted By Influences ~ Basic Instinct To Survive..... Is It Something We Are Truly Born With , Are We Truly Conditioned~Down By Experiences~? If We Remove Ourselves Away From Influences, Can We Find The Freedom Within Us To Feel Again Where Innocent Left Off~ Can We Truly Ever Feel Peace,Love, Acceptance for One Another, All Anew~? Can We Connect Unselfishly, Be In Awe Of Discovery,Embrace Each Others Uniqueness ~n~ Stop Viewing It As Indifference~? It's The One Thing We Have In Common ~n~ Connect Us As A Whole~ We Are Rulers Of What We Weave Alone For Ourselves ~N~What We Weave Into Each Other Rules Collectively What We Sow~.....