Monday, October 17, 2011

IF I AM........

If I am to lose my LIFE, At least I could say I remain TRUE to myself......
Even through my blood family was psychopathic ~n~ psychotic...No love there, no legacy ...Just my own... NO ABUSE will come from me.
I remain TRUE to other HUMANS, even though they lie, abandon,,abuse~n~ have raped EVERY part of me.... At least I had Love to Give,Loyalty, Acceptance, Tolerance, Some Forgiveness..
It was Good To Love, Even though it was a LIE~ At least I had moments where the world stopped spinnin'~n~ everything was ALIVE,ANEW, A Chance for Happyness.... At least I had those short moments, far in between the Uglyness~n~fighting off the Ugly Damage, at least I could see, ~n~ I felt what LOVE could be, sad thing that I craved some more after being robbed from it.... STRANGE, strange that the craving is there within me to give~n~ want it.....I don't know if I could openly receive it due to FEAR,Failure , ~n~just being Misunderstood...
I remain True to my OPEN~Mind, Giving everyone,everything a chance, taking the Time to Understand,Learn,Grow, Nurture ..
Even though I have been forced into Isolation,shut~out, beaten~down,pushed~away,mocked,judged,punished....
I remain True to my Heart~n~Soul Value,
Even though they stole from me, cheated me, cheated on me, seek to destroy me ... all outta hate~n~ nothin but~
I Never did those things, I did make mistakes when I was trying to survive, but NO HARM I placed anywhere to anyone.
NATURE EMBRACE ME, MUSE ME IN TO A SOUND~TRAX BEAT , SO THAT THE ANGELS SING~N~ NOT WEEP... I SURRENDER NOTHING, I SEEK NO ILL~WILL VENGEANCE, I ONLY CRAVED JUSTICE FOR THE WRONG DOINGS, .....ONLY GOD CAN FORGIVE THE PLACES ,PEOPLE,THINGS DONE,THAT I CAN'T
,....I SHOULDN'T FEEL LIKE I AM BEING PUNISHED FOR BEING ME,..... GENTLE IS MY HEART'S MOVEMENT, WHILE MY RESTLESS SOUL CRYS OUT FROM RAGE ..."PLEAZE SEND ME PEACE OF MIND,PEACE OF HEART, TO SOOTHE MY SOUL INTO A PEACEFUL STATE BEFORE I GO......

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